newstream

Rated G

“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”

“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”

The Shutter Island press conference in New York

Nope. As it turned out, nobody was talking to me at the Shutter Island press conference here in New York. Not Martin Scorsese, not Leonardo DiCaprio, not Ben Kingsley. Not even producer Brad Fischer. But that’s okay because no one spoke to him either. I’m guessing that happens a lot when you produced Pathfinder and the guy a few seats down the table directed Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and Cape Fear.

It’s okay, Brad. I feel your pain.

shutter island

 

I spent 12 hours on a plane to Frankfurt and another 7.5 hours to get to New York City and I didn’t get to ask one single question during the press conference – despite raising my hand like they were giving out free SpongeBob action figures. I’m convinced the moderator hates my scarf.

Instead, two highly annoying female journalists seated in the front row usurped the press conference. Refusing to be content with having asked their questions, they continued to jump in and hijack the questions of other journalists in the room, speaking directly to Scorsese and Leo as if they were on an intimate dinner date instead of sharing the time with the other 29 people in the room.

One of them is from Brazil. I don’t know where the other one is from. I’m guessing AnnoyingLand.

On top of not being able to ask a question, I also wasn’t able to take pictures of the director and his actors. We were informed that no photography (even sans distracting flash) was allowed – the first I’ve heard of such a rule at a press conference.

It’s the agreement they had with the talent, said the moderator in response to the collective whining of the journos in the room. Which was odd, seeing as the people we were about to interview had all done TV interviews earlier in the day so it wasn’t like they weren’t looking their photo-op best. Leo’s hair was perfectly combed. What a waste of a Kodak moment.

So, here I am in New York City with no quotes, no pictures and no video footage. On the upside, the bar at the hotel where the press conference was held serves an awesome Gimlet. Here’s what I can tell you: I’ve watched Shutter Island (but I’m not allowed to tell you what I think of it either – until it premieres at the Berlin Film Festival in a few days); Martin Scorsese is a charming, engaging, gracious gentleman who is even shorter than he looks (it’s like expecting a Smurf and meeting Polly Pocket); and Leonardo DiCaprio is hating the frigid cold in New York (Scorsese told him to man up – not in those exact words, of course).

Ooh, I can tell you what the film is about! It’s a “tale of haunting mystery and psychological suspense that unfolds entirely on a fortress-like island housing a hospital for the criminally insane”. That’s the synopsis from the production notes we were given. Can’t tell you any more. Hello, plot twist.

I did manage to take a few photographs for your Rated G viewing pleasure. Oh, yes, I broke the rule and took some pictures – except there’s nobody in them because they had already left the room. I’m such a rebel.

Here’s a picture of the table they were seated at.

table

 

Here’s where Martin Scorsese sat.

marty

 

Here’s the mic Leonardo DiCaprio spoke into.

leo

 

Here’s Ben Kingsley’s glass of water.

 ben

 

Here’s Leo! … in the Shutter Island poster.

 poster

 

You’ll get to read the full story in TODAY later in February when the film opens on the 25th (don’t worry, I’ll come up with something). In the meantime, I’m going to drink New York dry. It’ll be tough, but I’ll give it a shot.

And if I’m not back in a few days, it’s probably because I’ve been arrested for thumping two journalists on the head with my notebook of unanswered questions.

I hope Brazil sucks at the World Cup.